Personal Childhood Ethnography
When I think about my childhood, the most vivid image that comes to mind was playing outside with other children and generally making a lot of friends. With little to no access to technology devices such as the TV, gameboys and even other game stations, I was restricted to actual physical interaction with other children, adults and even at some point my parents would join to play with us. This is generally where I gained a lot of my personality, and perspective of the world. I learned to talk in my specific dialect and accent from play by mimicking the older kids and adults who played. Play time, and sleep were some of the more important aspects that defined my day. My parents for the most time were not at home, as such, I was left with a nanny, and/ or younger relatives, who would supervise our activities majority of the time, and even play with us. Child rearing in my community was basically a community affair and all adults had a part to play. This are some of the more vivid memories that have shaped my personality and have worked to create my perspective and how I associate with others. My goal in writing this autoethnography is generally to provide a more nuanced perspective in interpreting the role of parents in early childhood development and outline how the society has played a great role in shaping my personality, as well as the role of my parents, as the initial point of contact in shaping my identity and perspective of the world around me.
Back then parents were less concerned about online dangers and the potential for bullies that we constantly witness today. The world back then was much “safer” and children could be left to play outside non-gated communities with little supervision and at the end of the day, we would walk back home for the evening. I rarely sat down to watch the television and anything related to technology was centered around entertainment. Internet was not that inherent back then as such majority of the time as children we relied on each others company to pass time. Coming to think of it, it becomes very interesting to know that with little penetration of media services, the insecurity around our society was shielded and as such, children were allowed to play and roam as they pleased. This days, parents have become more concerned about insecurity due to over exposure to new articles of all sorts causing information overload and moral panic. When you go outside to areas where children are playing there always is a parental figure hovering around looking and supervising their play. This I believe beats the purpose. More children are indoor using computers and smartphones to watch and play which to some degree beats the purpose of socializing with others.
Reinforcement of certain behaviors is also an important aspect to consider when outlining the roles of parents on the child’s personality development. Whenever an adult would find us doing something they did not approve it was upon them to punish us or directly report our behavior to our parents who would then be tasked with punishing us. This is an aspect that is no longer approved today, adults people, who are strangers to the child would be severely rebuked or even punished criminally for such attitudes and tendencies. Parental control and punishment were more stricter, than they are today. My father particularly usually utilized flogging as a means to reinforce behavior. My parent’s parenting styles were permissive, authoritative as well as affirmative, but all at different times. Often they adopted nonpunitive measures and manners of affirmation to control my impulses, such as talking to me when I needed something and they could not buy. They were authoritative around my activities and often controlled what I watched and the times I watched, what I at and how I ate. My mother was more authoritative as she had a set of standard that we needed to abide by.
Caning as punishment was always the last resort of the quickest and most effective one. It did not matter what the mistake or misdid was flogging wass a means to an end in achieving any behavior deemed necessary for me to fit in to my social value system. This day’s this is an aspect that has been thrown-out by most parents as it has increasingly criticized as harmful to the child’s development and learning. Comparing then and now, I still wonder how hard it is for parents today to reinforce certain behaviors, especially in the developed world where flogging and corporal punishment are criticized and discouraged.
Culturally, America is much more liberal than where I come from. As children we were discouraged from talking back to adults from a young age. This was done in order to maintain a certain level of respect and know our place in the society was to learn and be taught. As such, anyone older than I was was regarded more knowledgeable and to be respected. Social value system on aspects such as gender when I was growing up were more emphasized in order to create different gender experiences. The role of girls was reached from a feminine perspective. The girl-child was associated to the woman and the mother, as such, they were not encouraged to go outside and were encouraged not to be fond of playing with boys. This is an aspect that I have witnessed across the American society too as girls played with girls and boys were left to themselves, I believe this to be problematic as it discouraged aspects of gender fluidity and encouraged gender exclusion in certain activities.
Conclusively the roles of the parents were to shape how we appear in public, something that remains today. I remember mimicking how my parents talked and learning from other kids, and in turn shaping my own personality through their interactions. Physical activities, some of which were dangerous, such as tree climbing and playing outside in the rain were normalized, or rather rarely supervised and this is owed to different perspectives and lack of exposure to the general world back then due to limited technology.
